I have received many a message from people wishing me a happy new year. I believe most people will look back at the year 2012 and think that it was the worst year of my life. Although I can probably categorize it that way, I am very sad to leave behind 2012.
In 2012 I had Zoë with me. For many months we watched her smile, and sleep, eat, and love. I became pregnant with her sister in 2012, and Zeppo and I have reached a new closeness that not many couples will ever achieve.
My family as a whole has experienced great joys, my brother, brother-in-law, and sister-in-law all purchased homes. A nephew was born. Friends had children, and conceived new life. There were engagements, and wedding planning. New cars, new trucks, and new jobs, and new job prospects. New relationships and new hopes.
I know that Zoë left us in April. But she also stopped hurting.
Zeppo told me that we were so lucky to have had Zoë in our lives because she was one of the most amazing beings to have ever graced our planet. Zoë taught me more in 2012 than I have probably learned in my entire lifetime about the human spirit, the physical body, the capacity for love, and the will to live.
I go into 2013 with my eyes wider than I did in 2012. My arms more open, and my heart stretched out. I don’t plan on making a resolution because I don’t see time as starting and ending with every year. I don’t want to set a goal that is only one year in length. Rather I go into 2013 with a lifelong plan to care for myself and my family, to do good works, and to spread the love and light that Zoë brought to us.
There is such a focus around the New Year to start new. To begin again. This in some ways it is a comforting thought, to think that we can start fresh with a new slate. However, by so casually tossing aside the previous year be careful not to leave behind the lessons learned, the love that was shared, and the good times. In all the rush to run away from “bad things” don’t forget. Even the hardest event you will ever suffer is better than not being able to suffer at all.
I am so blessed to sit in my home, and watch the sun light up this new day, to feel my daughter kick as she wakes up, and to know that I am here, I am alive, and I have the ability to make this next stretch of time wonderful for those in my life.
Happy New Year to you, and yours!