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As I write this Zoe is resting after having had her first round of Chemo. Only 9ish more to go. Zoe has Malignant Rhabdoid Tumor. This is a very rare cancer. Is it treatable? Yes. But it is very dificult to treat so Zoe has a war to rage, and battle she will. There is no other option for her other than survival because I wont have it any other way. 
 
Right now her kidneys are draining very well. H...e blood levels are all good, and she will start getting some IV "food" today possibly. Her breathing is shallow and she may need breathing assistance if the tumor presses too much on her diaphram.


There are many places the mind can wander. But I am stead fast and staying in the land of sunshine and unicorns. I am having realistic expectations and I am only focusing on today. Today she is stable and doing very well.

The process of how chemo works was explained this way. If there was a fish tank with non agressive fish (normal cells of the body) and agressive fish (cancer cells) the fish food (chemo drugs) will be eaten by both types of fish (both good and bad cells will be affected) but because agressive fish are super hungery they eat more. In this case the food has been poisoned and the agressive fish will die, but not all of the less agressive fish will.

Her tumor has grown even since we have been here in the past 4 days. It is very hungery so we will feed it, what it does not know is we have poisoned the food. The tumor will keep growing for a bit but will stop and start to shrink. Due to its size it is not safe yet to remove. Once it is small enough it will be removed, then she will
have radiation.

Zoe will experiance the same ill affects that a grownup
on chemo would. So she most likely will loose her hair, have internal sores,
have nausia, etc. Will she have all of the ill affects who knows.

The
positives: She will not remember this. She is young and her body is resilliant.
Treating cancer in infants is not new and although her form is rare there are
success stories. Zoe is in the best hospital in the world.