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The Second Worst Day In My Life

3/28/2012

109 Comments

 
For those of you who are not able, or have not been following our Facebook accounts:

We were told yesterday that Zoë's cancer is back with a vengeance.  It is taking over her body in such a way that there will be no cure, no remission, no hope for her beating this cancer.

Her body is failing her.  She knew this days ago and somewhere deep down inside so did we. 

Zoë stopped nursing, and she slowly became more and more ill since Friday, By Monday when we brought her into Clinic she was lethargic, and it brought back instant memories of December 26th all over again.  She was admitted to Children's and we thought originally just for observation, some fluids, and then maybe to start her next round of chemo early.

Monday night Zoë had an ultrasound which showed that her tumor had a re-occurrence.  An MRI on Tuesday showed that it was not only in her abdomen, but also on her diaphragm, and lungs.  The tumors are inoperable. 

Her body is having a hard time balancing the calcium that the tumors are making, and this is stressing her organs, and her heart.  The tumors are also beginning to put pressure on her heart via her lungs.

She is slowly being taken over.

The cancer got smart.

Chemo drugs would only delay her passing by a few days, or weeks, maybe a few months, but there isn't a cure. 

We are currently waiting for a second opinion, to make sure that we have not left any stone unturned in the care of our child.

I don't want her to be in pain.  I fear her pain.

I want her home with us.  Surrounded by love, between her Mommy and Daddy, in our bed.

I cannot thank you for all of the prayers, and pleas for a cure, for remission, for an answer to this tragic situation.  But now please don't tell us that there is hope,  Please support us, and with your prayers and white light, and love help us guide her into a better place.  I want her energy to return to where it came safely, and I want her to come back to us in other ways.  As she will always be apart of our lives.

She will join her lost sibling and their energy will for ever be together.

I am unable to eat.  To sleep.  To project out and know what is coming like I have been able to do all along.  I know that Zoë's odds were always stacked against her.  If only we could do a body transplant.

I have given her my blood, my bone, my nutrients, my anti-bodies, my heart, my life, my energy, my breath.  I bore her with great pain, and with great pain I will give her a dignified path onward. 

She is not going silently into the night.  She is still opening her eyes, and looking around, and she refused sleep last night quite a bit.  Like she has all a long.

My farther once said to her, "I don't blame you kid for not wanting to close your eyes, there is so much to see.  We can close our eyes when we are dead."  He said this before we knew of her condition.  He was so right.  I have wanted to show Zoë the world.  Perhaps that is why the other morning when she could not sleep we went on our little tri-state road trip and watched the sun come up together.  I have watched more sunrises since her birth, and they never cease to amaze me in their beauty.  This world is a more beautiful place for having Zoë been apart of it.

With all my heart, my soul, my being.  I LOVE YOU.
109 Comments
Colleen Joubert
3/28/2012 01:02:31 am

There really are no words right now. I love you is all I can say.

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Jeannine Walsh
3/28/2012 08:02:33 am

Laura..............I have followed your posts since you first started writing about Zoe. I feel a connection to you and your family as so many others do because you allowed us into your life. I wish you all peace and comfort through this part of your journey.

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Paula Leuci
3/30/2012 12:36:54 am

This must be a very difficult time for you. I am so sorry my prayers are with you Zoe and Zeppo

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Jesaida
3/28/2012 01:21:54 am

Laura,

I don't know even know what to said. I'm thinking and praying for you and your family. I admire you. My heart is breaking for you.

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Heather
3/28/2012 01:24:13 am

You are by far the strongest person I know...Your daughter is lucky to have parents like you and Zeppo, just as much as you have been honored to have a warrior like Zoë....

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Catherine C. Capasso
3/28/2012 01:31:57 am

Dear Laura, Zeppo and Zoë,

You are an amazing family. Your strength, courage, fight and optimism through all of this has been deeply inspiring.

I wish for you purity, peace and serenity. You have fought so hard and always done what was right. Times when you didn't write a post, I feared the worse. You recognized this and while we waited with baited breath, you came back and always let us know what was happening. You encouraged us that silence was not a bad thing. Until you told me something different, as you now have, I kept believing in the possible. Now, I believe the possible will be for your family to be together as you want it to be.

I send you my prayers and white light. Your love will guide her and part of her will always be here. Her reach, through your writing about her journey, has extended beyond home and family. May this help ease your pain.

Cancer may have won the battle. Zoë has won the war with the promise of the possible, the lessons of courage, honesty and love that you selflessly shared throughout her journey.

🙏

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Annette Savant
3/28/2012 03:27:02 am

I have meditated and am giving out to the Universe your hopes and wishes. I see her combining with the Universe and doing Cartwheels through a bubblling brook and swimming up a waterfall. There are butterflies during the day and lightening bugs at night. She will grace the Universe, and learn so very much, and she will return to grace the Natural World although she will have never left you. Deepest consolances.

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Laura Dunn
3/28/2012 01:35:09 am

I do not know you personally, but we have many mutual friends and I have been following Zoe's progress for a while now. I am so heartbroken to hear this news and just can't imagine what you are going through. I just wanted to let you know that Zoe and you and Zeppo will most definitely be in my thoughts and prayers, and I wish for she and you all the things that you wrote about in this post. What an amazing and unbelievable mother you are to face this with such strength and faith and the ability to try and find comfort in the knowledge that you will never really be apart from her. You will always be her mommy and I believe with all my heart that no matter what happens, the love you share will be with both of you always.

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Lindsey
3/28/2012 01:41:41 am

Your strength is amazing! Your words are so touching! Your decision is honorable! Your family is blessed! Positive thoughts & prayers to you and your little one!

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Mary Drake
3/28/2012 01:58:30 am

I will pray that Zoe goes peacefully into the light and will touch your lives in different ways when she reaches heaven. She can be your guardian angel. Thoughts and prayers are with you.

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Nanci Tankersley
3/28/2012 02:02:38 am

Thinking of you ~ <3

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Jennifer
3/28/2012 02:04:41 am

I don't personally know you but I have been following the story through a mutual friend. I am deeply saddened that your family has to face this struggle again. Your family will be in my prayers for strength, and comfort and peace for Zoe.

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Liliana
3/28/2012 02:06:38 am

Laura:

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Just remember that God is the only one that give and take the first and last breath of our life! God bless Zoe!

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Beth
3/28/2012 02:06:39 am

May you find comfort and strength in each other. You have borne your pain and terror with dignity and grace. I hope you can feel the love and admiration of everyone praying for your family. I never met little Zoe, but she has touched my heart. Please know that your 'extended' community, is heartbroken for all of you.

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gennifer
3/28/2012 02:15:14 am

my thoughts and prayers are with u in this time.may God put is arms around u all.

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Lisa Voveris link
3/28/2012 02:16:07 am

I will pray for her to play inside heaven's gates with my two grandchildren Phoenix and Isaiah. I pray for God to comfort you all.

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Maria Vasquez
3/28/2012 02:18:41 am

I am so sorry guys, there are no words that can bring you comfort. I pray for both of you to find comfort in your hearts. Zoe is an angel and will always be a part of your lives. You both are very strong individuals and Zoe is lucky to have you. God Bless!

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Pattricia Darr link
3/28/2012 02:23:32 am

As I wipe away the tears my heart is breaking for you and your family,you are a strong family and are doing what is best for your beautiful daughter,my heart breaks as I know how hard it is to let go and how hard it is to lose a child.My family is praying for you all and for you to have comfort at this hard time and for Zoe to have the love and comfort she needs thru all of this,Zoe and your family will forever be in our hearts and prayers.GOD BLESS YOU ALL

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mariann
3/28/2012 02:26:11 am

I´ll be praying for Zoe and your family!

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Lisa
3/28/2012 02:26:46 am

I do not know you but have followed Zoe's story .
I pray that the strength that has guided you remains ever strong as you spend whatever precious time you have together as a family. I wish for you all that you wrote of and may we all be changed by the faith , love and devotion you all showed through this time.
You have all touched my heart.

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Cindy King
3/28/2012 02:29:25 am

Laura, My heart goes out to you and your family. Amy Dame told me about Zoe, and I have been praying. I am sorry to hear this news. I am Cindy King, formerly Cindy Greene from Pascoag.
I know of a Dr in Texas (where I am living now) that is curing cancer. His name is Dr. Stanislaw Burzynski. He has a clinic here, it is worth a shot to find out. He has a page on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/stanislawburzynski
His clinic address is:
http://www.burzynskiclinic.com/
Phone: (800) 714-7181
This is a youtube page of testimonies, etc.
http://www.burzynskiclinic.com/youtube-channel.html
He has made a movie of his success, partly because the government tried to shut him down for practicing cancer treatments that were not conventional. But they were working, he has a high cure rate, and he took the gov. to court over this and WON!

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Jennifer McLeod
3/28/2012 02:31:45 am

Your story moved me to tears. I hate cancer. I know you are going to treasure every second you have left with your little girl - It hurts my heart to know that this kind of unfairness is happening.

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Danyel
3/28/2012 02:31:53 am

Laura I don't personally know you. I'm a friend of Zeppo's from Denver School of Massage Therapy. Though I've never met Zoe I love her. I've been following her story from the beginning and my heart is broken for you and your family. All of you are in my thoughts and prayers. You and Zeppo are amazingly strong as is little Zoe. She is so lucky to have you both on her side. I will continue to pray for peace and comfort for you all. God Bless!

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LKC link
3/28/2012 02:31:55 am

So heartbreaking, that last paragraph especially made me cry. Such a sweet angel with such wonderful parents. May God be with you and give you strength in this time of need.

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Heather M
3/28/2012 02:34:31 am

I am so sorry. How horribly heartbreaking. My prayers are with your family. I pray that she will feel no pain now and that you can have beautiful moments and new memories made with Zoe. <3

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Jenna
3/28/2012 02:42:28 am

Sending good thoughts and prayers. I wish you all peace and love.

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Mary Ellen & Wayne
3/28/2012 02:43:23 am

My thoughts are with you and your family today. Zoe has been through so much and endured. She has also brought smiles to Laura, Zeppo, grandparents and friends. Even as I write this my heart is breaking for all of you but as I told my dear friends Colleen and Dan I remember Zeppo's blog when he was in the examining room crying and Zoe looked up and laughed and the more he cried the louder she laughed. She has given her gift of strength and courage. I look at her and see a old soul who is meant for bigger things. Love to you all.

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Maria
3/28/2012 02:43:40 am

May peace surround you

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Sara
3/28/2012 02:44:14 am

Laura, Zeppo and Zoe,
You are the most amazing family and I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. May her path to the light be gentle. We all know that she will be surrounded by those her love her with their whole being.

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Dawn-Marie Brown
3/28/2012 02:48:36 am

Laura/Zeppo/Colleen/Dan & family,

Bob *& I are so sadded by this news..our hearts go out to all of you, we cannot imagine the pain you are going thru, Zoe is a beautiful little girl wish there was something we could all do for Zoe but seems as though god is calling another beautiful angel to his place...Please know that we are thinking about all of you everyday-our prayers go out to all of you, so sorry I am at loss for words...my heart is broken for you all..

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Tara
3/28/2012 02:56:31 am

I am so sorry for the pain that you and your sweet baby are having to endure, and I will pray for peace and strength for you and your family. It's just so unfair.

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Carol St Germain
3/28/2012 03:15:37 am

Colleen and family,

My heart goes out to all of you. Love and prayers forever. Zoe will always be a guardian angel..

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Bethany
3/28/2012 03:21:15 am

Laura, Zoe and Zeppo,

I've seen the posts on facebook from a friend of Laura's and I've prayed along with you. We have never met, but I have tears for you and your family. I'm in awe of how strong you are. Praying for all of you for peace and comfort. No one should endure cancer, let alone an infant. God chose you to be her parents because of your strength. Thank you Laura for sharing your journey with us, it can not be an easy thing to do. God bless you all.

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Keysha
3/28/2012 03:44:25 am

Our prayers, thoughts, and Pleaus are with your little girl and your family at this time of need! There is hope with all of us here to fight her fight with her! I am friends of Stacy & Ella!! Tell your little girl she is NOT fighting alone that we are all here fighting with her!!

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Tina Demers
3/28/2012 03:52:11 am

You are in our prayers...I'm so sorry .. My heart goes out to you ..keep fighting.

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Shannon
3/28/2012 03:54:28 am

My heart goes out to your family and your sweet little girl.

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Lou
3/28/2012 03:58:03 am

Laura and Zeppo, you both continue to amaze me with your strength and wisdom. That's why you were chosen to be Zoë's parents. I know if you count just me, that Zoë has taught me amazing things in 5 months, what it is like to be selfless, how to not worry about trivial things, cherish your family, and that life is a gift. And I know she taught more people then me this lesson. It's obvious when you see your facebook accounts, and the support everyone wants to give you. I wish I could find a way to ease your suffering but I cannot. Just know I'm one of many that is here for you.

All I can do is send out my love to all of you...in hopes that Zoë will feel it somehow.

Well I believe it's love that's hiding here
deep inside both you and me.
Maybe it's up to you and me to share it with the light
Love when I approach the tears they fall like rain
You tell me baby your heart's into a thousand pieces

I'll always be here for you Law....

Love,
Lou

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Mary Louise
3/28/2012 03:58:22 am

Sending prayers,love & hugs

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Patricia Voelker
3/28/2012 04:02:21 am

My heart is breaking for you. You have a powerful strength and love to be able to think in ways that give you the ability to believe and have faith in the knowledge that Zoe' will live on in a far better place without pain and suffering . I understand that you need the support and even though we have never met, I hole your hand in mine and whisper a little prayer as you guide her along to that better place. Continued prayers and thoughts for this journey.

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Pam Venini
3/28/2012 04:14:42 am

I don't even know what to say.. There are no words.. You are all in my prayers & my heart breaks for all of you.. May you find strength in each other & with your Family .....

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Molly O'Bryon-Welpott link
3/28/2012 04:18:29 am

My heart is aching and breaking for you, I have prayed for ZOE really hard and I will continue to pray for you all that you find comfort holding her and she finds comfort being their in your arms.
God Bless you all

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Carroll Grist
3/28/2012 04:39:55 am

Laura I don't know you but I have read your letter about Zoe and it breaks my heart. I will be praying for you three and your family in these trying days. You and your hubby are strong and I pray that you will have comfort and peace beyond measure. Thank you for sharing your story.
PS Jenna Grange is my grand daughter.

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Ellen
3/28/2012 04:46:58 am

Laura, Zeppo and entire family,
So saddened by this news. May you all know that the prayers are continued no only for today but tomorrow and your lifetime. You have both been so strong. As for Zoe may you find peace as you have given a good fight. Love to all!!

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Lou-Ann Broadmeadow
3/28/2012 04:54:56 am

If only love could make her strong she could wrestle tigers. What ever happens know I love you, I support you, and I will do anything I can to ease your pain, but we all know that there is nothing that can ease this kind of pain. My heart is broken.

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Nicole
3/28/2012 04:56:35 am

I know you don't know me. I know of your story through a mutual friend and wanted to come here and let you know that you and your family are in my heart, and in my thoughts and prayers. You are doing what you know as her parents is best for her and I want you to know that people understand this, and send you their prayers and love.

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Elizabeth Hand
3/28/2012 04:57:32 am

Sso very saddened by the news. iI wouldve loved to see zoe n jim play. My prayers are with you guys. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

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Elaine
3/28/2012 05:01:09 am

prayers

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NIcole
3/28/2012 05:46:34 am

I am so sorry. Please know that you all are in my thoughts and prayers.

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Nicole
3/28/2012 06:00:51 am

I dont know you personally, but i do know your father from Lil General, and have been following tid bits on fb from mutual friends. I cant imagine what you are going through, but you are braver than anyone i know.
thoughts are with you and your family!!!!

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A
3/28/2012 06:06:15 am

I'm so so very sorry. it's like a knife through all of our chests that such an injustice could be brought upon such a perfect, innocent being.

I know you have been working with and consulting some Rabbi's. I wanted to leave you with the words of a Jewish Folk Singer who put the prayer for healing into song. It has always moved me and it is my wish for you and your entire family.

"May the source of strenght, who blessed the ones before us, help us find the courage to make our lives a blessing. Bless those in need of healing, with refuah schlemah, the renewal of body, the renewal of spirit."

May Zoe find her complete renewal with both her parents there to guide her.

My heart will remain broken for you.

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Terese Ambrose Donovan
3/28/2012 06:11:17 am

My heart goes out to all of you. You have no idea the impact the story of this journey has had on so many people. You will forever be remembered for your strength, compassion and unending love for your beautiful daughter.

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Shannon F
3/28/2012 06:14:02 am

I can't think of anything to express how heartbroken I am for all of you. I have always found comfort in this quote from Ann Druyan speaking about her husband Carl Sagan so I thought I would share it with you:

"Every single moment that we were alive & we were together was miraculous — not miraculous in the sense of inexplicable or supernatural. We knew we were beneficiaries of chance… That pure chance could be so generous & so kind… That we could find each other, as Carl wrote so beautifully in Cosmos, you know, in the vastness of space & the immensity of time… "

I know right now chance doesn't seem kind for Zoe but as she works toward finding the light, know that chance was kind for letting you have her, and more importantly letting her have YOU.

Much love and you all are in my thoughts.

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Pat Degre link
3/28/2012 06:20:32 am

My thoughts and prayers are going out to you, Laura and your entire family. I hope Zoe is comfortable and at least stable somewhat. I'm glad that you are not giving up. Only God knows what's happening and he's the only one in charge. Keep the faith and I will do the same..

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Deborah
3/28/2012 06:29:26 am

I am so sorry for the heartbreaking illness to your precious baby... God Bless all of you and have faith that all will be well and be as right as it is meant to be. xoxo Deb

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Bill Gerry
3/28/2012 06:51:09 am

My prayers and support go out to you! You and Zeppo are the strongest / most caring parents of a new born with struggles I know. I am truely saddened as I look forward to the page daily to see updates. May God bless you, Zeppo and bring Zoey home peacefully.

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Brenda
3/28/2012 07:29:27 am

There are no words. I will pray for you...my heart is breaking for you.

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Kari L
3/28/2012 07:41:55 am

I don't know any of you personally eithe, but I have seen your earlier posts on "praying together" page on FB- Have prayed for your family!

Words cannot describe the heavy heart I feel after reading your post, what an amazing Mother/Father you both are... Your strength is an inspiration to me! I cannot begin to imagine what your family has been through. And your words in this post have put me in awe... I wish your family peace... I am so sorry that you all have had to endure this... it seems so unfair, she will be living eternity now with a Loving God & you will be with her again.

Continued prayers for your family!

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Christine
3/28/2012 07:43:14 am

I send you prayers and white light. May Zoe have peace in the time you have left.

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Sylvia
3/28/2012 07:59:05 am

My heart goes out to you. I can't imagine how difficult this must be. I've been following Zoë's battle (I'm friends with Lou-Ann) and right now I'm sitting here with tears running down my face. Just want you to know that I will keep Zoë and you all in my prayers.

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Jody Blue
3/28/2012 08:41:19 am

Praying for peace and comfort for your family. In heaven there is no pain, no needles, tubes, or tears... God be with you little one...I asked my grandaughter ( who would have been six this month but never got to take her first breath of life on this earth) to give a hug and kiss to your little angel when her time comes....May the beautiful butterflies spread their wings during their playtime in paradise.....God be with you all Jody Blue

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Susan Daniels
3/28/2012 08:57:27 am

I haven't met you but it seems like i know you, you have such a beautiful soul, i can promise you Zoe Will be in Gods arms and you will have eternal life with Zoe, God bless you and your family and friends. Susan

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Frank Thompson
3/28/2012 09:39:56 am

Laura, Zeppo And Zoe
Our Thoughts Are With You, Such A Heart Wrenching Time You All Are Going Through. I Hope The Thought Of Knowing You Have So Much Support From So Many People Around You Helps .
Let Your Dad Know My Thoughts Are With Him And His Family Also. The Thompson Family

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Anita
3/28/2012 09:41:50 am

Prayers are with all of you and the little ANGLE named Zoe.
Love Auntie Anita

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Pastor Bryan Speroni
3/28/2012 09:52:37 am

Praying for all of you!!!

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Tori
3/28/2012 10:23:45 am

Prayers are being sent to Zoe and the family + May God bless u +

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Lani
3/28/2012 10:59:30 am

My heart goes out to you, and I have been praying for Zoe since Megan made me aware of her situation. My second baby came near to dying a few times due to a develpmental issue that thank God she grew out of and overcame. I can only begin to know what you are going through, and will continue to pray for you all.

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Lisa
3/28/2012 11:01:41 am

My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time. GOD works in mysterious ways. Zoe was a true fighter and inspiration to us all. Words can't even describe the feeling I have when reading all of your posts. You amaze me with your strength. God Bless you and Zoe.

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Sergio & Melissa Grussi
3/28/2012 11:05:51 am

Zeppo, Laura and Zoe

We Pray for your strength and for comfort for you and your family. We have not formally met your precious baby girl Zoe but just know that she is blessed everyday having parent that love her so very much and that are so strong , and comforting as you are. My family and I are here to support you in any decision for you alone know what is best for your baby girl. No words can explain how deeply my family and I feel for Zoe. We have followed your story and her fight, she is so strong because of her wonderful parents.. You are in our prayers...

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A friend of a friend
3/28/2012 11:21:21 am

I am so sorry. My heart cries for you. I pray that you may find peace.

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a facebook "friend"
3/28/2012 12:09:35 pm

Song For Baby-O, Unborn
_________________________________
Sweetheart
when you break thru
you'll find
a poet here
not quite what one would choose.

I won't promise
you'll never go hungry
or that you won't be sad
on this gutted
breaking
globe

but I can show you
baby
enough to love
to break your heart
forever

--- Diane DiPrima

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Kimberly
3/28/2012 12:30:42 pm

My heart - and my prayers and love - are full of hope & wishes for ease and comfort in the midst of what is heartbreaking and unfair in every way. Thank you for sharing some of yourselves and Zoe with all of us. So much love.

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maureen
3/28/2012 12:47:35 pm

God bless your beautiful baby Zoe. She is a fighter and a great inspiration to all of us. My heart is breaking for Zoe and your family. I will keep you all in my prayers.

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kerri morin
3/28/2012 01:27:06 pm

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kerri morin
3/28/2012 01:35:16 pm

Laura, I have been following your story of your precious little angel and have been so inspired of your strength and love. I continue to pray for you and your family during this difficult time. Zoe has been loved by so many people like myself who have never had the pleasure to meet her but has grabbed my heart through your posts and pictures....

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Stacey
3/28/2012 01:33:13 pm

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STACEY
3/28/2012 01:43:12 pm

My heart goes out to this beautiful precious baby and her family, I cant imagine what you all are going through, My prayers goes out to you Zoe, You are a strong baby, no matter what you have endured you always had a smile on your face , You are a precious Angel !!!

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Angie
3/28/2012 05:48:12 pm

I pray for you and Zoe. I have followed your posts here and on facebook and I could not do it anymore. I shed so many tears and sadness. I have a baby a few weeks older than Zoe and emotionally your story has hurt me. I love you and I dont know and I will continue to pray for you. Just know she is going to a better place although I can imagine your feelings as you loose her to this beautiful place. God bless you

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Pat Griffin
3/28/2012 07:21:11 pm

My heart goes out to you and your family.You are very strong.Alot of people fell in love with your daughter.It is this love that will carry her to her pain less next voyage.God love you and your family.I am a neighbor of Megan,s.She has kept us posted.God Bless.

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Barbara Silvis
3/28/2012 07:24:27 pm

Many years ago I read a small book called "Angel Unaware" by Dale Evans (yes, that one) who lost a young daughter. The situation was not the same as what you are facing, but it strikes me now that we are all blessed to know that we have seen an angel. Even I, who have been following your story through a mutual friend, can see her shining.. Thank you for sharing, and my thoughts and prayers arewith you

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Andie
3/28/2012 08:31:55 pm

Oh Mama.... I am so sorry. :( I cannot imagine what you are going through!! Your family is in my prayers.. I don't know exactly what to pray for for you guys, except strength and wisdom to get through this. I had not heard of your daughter's story until just moments ago, a friend had posted this link on Facebook.

*hugs*

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Maria Aguayo
3/28/2012 08:43:47 pm

Laura,

Nothing that I say will make it feel better. I can only pray that you and your husband find the strength to care for her in the upcoming days with the hopes that some day you will reunite with her. I am so sorry for the pain your family has endured in the many months that have past. Despite the feelings, believe me when I say, you have been and will forever be an inspiration for all of us out there. I am praying for everyone, especially Zoe!

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Carrie
3/28/2012 08:58:04 pm

My heart, soul, thoughts, prayers and love, goes out to you and your family. I can't imagine what you are going through. I give you my strength. God bless Zoe and your family, she is an amazing little girl and has touch me in so many ways.

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Dena Mourtos
3/28/2012 10:36:26 pm

Laura, zoe, just know that you are loved.

Baby zoe, my little love, I think of you and will always think of you. You are one off the bravest baby nuggets that I have ever known. You will go to a place where there will be no more pain and only know belly laughs. My love and a part of my heart will go with you when you are called home.

All my love, "Auntie" Dena

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Pam Mormino
3/28/2012 10:42:32 pm

You and your family have been through so much with courage and dignity that we can all learn from. My prayers are with you all. Kiss Zoe for me.

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Lauren
3/28/2012 10:57:04 pm

Laura and family,

Sending you positive thoughts and white light.

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A Mom
3/28/2012 11:21:09 pm

Love and light to little Zoe. She'll be there waiting for you someday, and until you meet again, she'll be there to watch over you, giving you strength when you need it most. Keep watching those sunrises, her spirit will be right there with you xo

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Nikki Paine
3/28/2012 11:29:20 pm

God had BIG plans for this little girl. Always in my prayers.

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Dawn
3/29/2012 12:22:17 am

I just want to say my heart goes out to you, one day may you and her meet again where there is no pain or sadness just sunrises and sunsets.

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Joy, Ken, Makyla & David Blair
3/29/2012 12:38:31 am

Butterfly
As you danced in the light with joy,
love lifted you. As you brushed against
this world so gently, you lifted us.
T.C. Ring

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Kerry
3/29/2012 03:14:37 am

Laura..I know U don't know me Personally But, I do know Your Dad..I have been following your story since the Begining..I just would Like to let U know u R a Amazing Person N I can Only Imagine what U n your Family r going through..My Thoughts n Prayers r with all Of U during this difficult time.

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Lori Barden
3/29/2012 04:55:27 am

When I first read about your little girl my heart broke. My family's prayers include Zoe's name and I wished for you to hear the greatest of news. My heart continues to break and my eyes are filled with tears, as a mother I can only imagine your thoughts and feelings. We changed our prayers today to fill your family with peace, to enjoy every smile and to cherish every moment. My sympathies are for your pain and frustrations. May Zoe's life shine bright in every sun rise, may her laugh be heard in the wind's swift breeze, and may her courage be there to carry you through this difficult time.

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Jenna
3/29/2012 06:55:31 am

Laura and Zeppo,

I only know you through a mutual friend, but I have been following your blog as you learn how beautiful and painful parenthood can be. Your words have brought me to tears over and over again, but your love for each other and for your daughter brings me to believe that you are watching your guardian angel transition into her new painless and beautiful life. I lost my son to complications with spina bifida and I was only allowed to have him with me on earth for a few minutes, but he has been with me every day since the day I met him. I've asked him to watch over Zoe as she enters her new life, and to help her find a way to tell you she will be alright. He will be there for help herald her in. I know she will fight fiercely for you as you have done for her... You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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Kim
3/29/2012 07:21:23 am

Laura.....I don't personally know you, but I have been following your story on FB through a relation of yours. I too, am a mother and in awe at how you show such incredible strength on this trying journey. I can't help but think, especially during this Easter season on how much you are like the Blessed Mother. Thank you for sharing your story, your family has touched my heart and your Warrior Princess Zoe has made a difference in many lives already in such a short time. You have been fortunate to have been loved and blessed by this angel, for some have never experienced that love at all. For whatever his reason, you are all in God's hands. I will continue to keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.

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Noreen Marsland
3/29/2012 07:52:34 am

Dearest Laura, Zepp and baby Zoe,
My name is Noreen and although you don't know me, I feel that I know you. My cousin, Megan Dunning, has been providing regular updates on her FB wall and I've come to fall in love with your family. I'm a Major in the USAF and my husband is British. We are newlyweds as we got married in Scotland last July. I visited him in England over X-Mas and it was during this time that we were introduced to your family. On an almost daily basis, we read your updates, sat in anticipation and celebrated your success! We were one of the hundreds of people routing in your corner, without you even knowing. Our day came to a screeching halt yesterday when we heard of the tragic news. I read your post to my husband with tears streaming down my face. My heart broke so much for you and I became so angry with how life can be so unfair. I'm a social worker and I unfortunately so often see the other sides to families. People who don't want their children, etc. How could something like this happen to such a beautiful, loving family who wanted their baby so much? This, I cannot understand. I'm sure you cannot either. I frantically searched all around Megan's FB looking up her friends to see if I could find you guys. I think she knows your mom/mother-in-law, Lou-Ann (not sure). I was thrilled this a.m. when she provided the link to your website. I wanted to contact you directly to let you know how very sorry we are. You & your husband are remarkable people. Baby Zoe is so lucky to have had you as parents during her short life on this Earth. My husband & I do not have any children, just our two bulldogs who are like our kids. I don't know what I would do if I lost them, I CAN'T even imagine what I would do if I lost a child. Hearing your words come directly from you touched so many parts of me. You conveyed yourself and your feelings so well, but I imagine written word still doesn't even come close to explaining how you feel. Please know that baby Zoe has touched people all across the US & the world. She has made our world a better place. From us in Valdosta, GA, you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. Rest well, baby Zoe, may you be surrounded by all the angels in heaven and finally be in a place where there is no longer pain. We love you all! Love, Noreen, Bruce, Piggly & Pork Chop

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Meg
3/29/2012 08:41:22 am

A friend shared your blog with me, what I read broke my heart. May you all stay strong during this difficult time. I will be saying prayers for you all. <3

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Maureen
3/29/2012 08:55:58 am

In my prayers. You are an incredible woman. My fervent hopes for peace for all of you. Maureen GCA '92

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Friend of a friend of yours
3/29/2012 10:04:47 am

To Zoe's family - My heart is heavy reading your story yet still I know there is hope and prayer and love that surrounds all of you, especially your beautiful daughter, Zoe. May God shine his light on all of you during this time - Shirley

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Fiona
3/29/2012 10:18:16 am

My heart goes out to you, Zoe & the rest of your family. You are in my thoughts & prayers.

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Dennis Gartner
3/29/2012 12:31:55 pm

Dear Laura and Zeppo, How can words express the most agonizing and unbearable emotions and pain a parent must endure at such a time as this. We would certainly give our lives and existence so that our child would live another year, day, hour, minute, second. How fleeting life is….We live, we love, we endure, we leave. It has been asked by millions….where do we go…what happens when we leave? It has been answered as such: “A person lives on forever in the minds and hearts of all who have been touched by their wonder, their tenderness and innocence, their presence in our lives.” Your lovely baby will live on forever in all of us…everyone whose lives and hearts you and your family have touched in these most trying times. May peace dwell forever in your hearts and minds knowing that this sweet and lovely child has been loved so deeply and affected so many.

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Jill Walters
3/29/2012 08:52:49 pm

Bo words can express how sorry I am. As a parent of 4 children I can't even imagine the struggle u r going thru. My heart triely is breaking for your family right now. My you find your strength in each other. My thoughts and prayers are with u all.

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Alice Williams, Lexie's mom link
3/29/2012 08:58:06 pm

<3...no words, just <3.....

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patty salcedo link
3/29/2012 10:59:21 pm

my love is with you..

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Joe
3/30/2012 01:25:48 am

God Bless

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Joseph clune iii
3/30/2012 01:52:39 am

Laura i am overwhelmed with emotions for you. Your so strong! As a father of 3 soon to be 4 and stepfather to 3 more i can say i doubt that i would have your strength. Zoe is a beautiful baby and my thoughts will be with you and your family from now on.

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Esther
3/31/2012 10:03:42 am

I'm sending you all love and wishing you peace and comfort through this hoping you can focus on the joy Zoe brought into your life. I think it is great how you are making the most of each day with her and sharing your emotions with us.

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joan burden
3/31/2012 10:14:46 am

You don't know me. I just happened upon this page. I will pray for your daughter and you. You are a very strong woman. Zoe is a beautiful little girl and I will remember her. That's all I can think to do tonight~~ Pray and remember her.

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Abbi
4/1/2012 10:13:45 am

I'm so sorry for your loss. My prayers go out to you and your family.

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Donna Potter allard link
4/2/2012 04:52:20 am

Laura, my friend, Lynne Chernaski, has been keeping me up to date with Zoe's condition and the fight you have all been going through. Your very precious Zoe has touched more lives than you could imagine. You and your husband's strength has been unparallelled. We never know what we're capable of and in the most difficult times we find strength that we never thought we could have. I think your last days accounts of Zoe's fight was incredibly difficult for you but also so selfless and one day it help help to heal your heart. Your story has touched my heart and I feel honored to have been able to learn of little Zoe<3. Your angel will continue to touch many lives through your voice. Sometimes, even in the darkest hours there is a light and that light was Zoe's beautiful smile and your courage. God bless you and your family.

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kim cordova
4/2/2012 11:08:01 am

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The Zoë Faye Foundation's mission is to provide support and assistance to children diagnosed with Malignant Rhabdoid Tumors, Atypical Teratoid Rhabdoid Tumors, and Non-CNS Extrarenal Rhabdoid Tumors, and their families; provide pathways to information, financial relief, and raise awareness for rare pediatric cancers, and funds for researchers who focus on Rhabdoid Tumors and related cancers with the hopes of achieving a cure.